Theif
by ibuiltthesunforyou
Summary: "I need you so badly, and I know you don't want me back..." Pezberry. Warning: Slight dark themes.
1. Chapter 1

Thief

It was one of /those/ nights. When you're just angry enough to fuck me into submission and stay for a few minutes while I gasp for breath. But then you leave, you leave me a gasping, quivering mess. I'm exposed, my body is naked, you don't even cover me with a sheet. You kiss my chest and you get up with that scared look in your eye, grab something from my closet and leave.

I've actually tried to flirt lately you know? With Quinn or Finn or someone, just so you'll feel that angry, that possessiveness... So you'll make love to me.

I need you so badly, and I know you don't want me back... So I stay quiet and I cry myself to sleep after you leave because all I need you to do is hold me. Hold my sweating, pulsing, tired body and press against me, press your naked body against me, be open and loving and fall asleep with me.

My center beats, my head spins, my muscles ache, I need you so badly and you need me to. No matter what you lie, you need me Santana, you need me, you always have.

I heard you when you told me you loved me, right before I fell unconscious a few weeks ago, and I know this fact would terrify you and you'd stop seeing me, maybe for a few weeks if you're strong enough but then one day, and I'll be waiting, you'll grab my collar and pull me into the janitor's closet that isn't needed at that school anymore and make me stumble and get paint on my legs as you push me. Maybe you'd yell about me confusing you like you did that first time you filled me with your fingers. Or you'd start to cry and flip me when I try to comfort you, not letting me see how your body relaxes when you feel me.

But you'll come back to me Santana.

I've stolen you, I know I have. You know you don't belong with anyone but me. And you'll realize it some day.

But for now, I'll wait.

I'll wait and I'll settle and I'll give you my body. You've stolen it and now I can barely feel when someone else touches it, even myself.

Santana Lopez you're mine just as much as I'm yours.


	2. Chapter 2

A particular touch could send me spiraling into a never ending vat of hellish heat, setting my skin on fire. Another could freeze every cell, could slowly bring a frost to any happiness you painted in. Another touch could settle me in a gleeful warmth, thawing my cold want and tickling my nose with the new spring air.

But I don't know what this touch is. I'm laid out on your bed, on display with you and your head is in my neck, not sucking, or biting or marking me harshly like usual, just settling. But your other hand is scratching along my side punishing me for an unknown fault and I know they'll be blood and bruises. And your thigh is between my legs. Pushing, rocking, so good and... Gentle. I'm sweating and mewling and for the love of Moses why won't you just push me over the edge? I'm dying physically now instead of just on the inside like before.

"P-please." I whimper out accidentally and you stop completely. You don't let me speak other than screaming. It's a unspoken rule and you usual make love to me hard enough so I can't speak. I can only scream and writhe and cry out when sweet release hits me. And you're angry now.

Your hand clamps over the cuts and I bite back a cry because of the hard tearing pressure. I tense up as you reach over blindly to the drawer beside my bed and skillfully slide out the false bottom. And there is our toybox. The ones you've brought in the last month or so and just left when you leave, just left here for me to remember when you leave me here. Your hand search around the box as you mouth opens and closes on the skin of my neck, punishing me for my begging. And your hand closes around something and you bring it back and I don't dare try and see, just lay here helpless. You pull away from me and I want the closeness again, but apparently I'm not getting it. I whimper wordlessly as you grab my hips and flip me face down into the bed.

I have a feeling you would have done this even if I hadnt messed up, because this is all I am to you. Your out, your disjointed release that helps you not go insane when you realize how fucking gay you are. Do you punish yourself like you punish me?

Oh!

Oh god maybe this is worth it, that's all I can think when you take me. Even when it's so painful I can't even see straight, god maybe it's worth all this heart ache. Because I can feel your skin hitting against mine as I'm filled again and again, roughly and fully. I'm being taken.

You're whispering dirty things, rude, cruel, vulgar things, maybe to yourself, maybe to me but I need to focus on this.

Maybe I can pretend you want me back.

And when I scream and fall down hours later, falling from the position of my hands and knees that you grabbed me up into after that first orgasm, I'm blissfully blind. And quivering and panting and I feel your hand touch my shoulder almost intimately but then you pull away.

Its like a dagger to my heart.

I break.

I pull up the bed from the toy and you and curl up in a ball. Just staring at the open side dresser, staring at the evidence that you've been here since you leave nothing but devices to make me forget my name. Sometimes I wish I could.

I wait for you to leave me like you always do.

I wait.

Tic tock, tic tock, tic...

Theres a rustling as I see the glistening toy thrown down clumsily and grimace because I'm almost out of disinfectant. I'll have to ask daddy to get some, he probably thinks I'm getting into inhalants or drugs like that. Well maybe he'd be right, you're my drug.

There's rustling and I think it's you adjusting your clothes and fixing that damn ponytail, but then the bed dips. Oh god I can't take anymore, it's been 3 hours of slamming, pounding, and I only got one slipped I love you out of it and you just pounded harder after it. I can just barely hear and see out of the corner of my eye you crawling up. Then one of your hands pushes right next to my stomach like you're crawling over me. Then you fall next to me, grab me with that arm and... Spoon me. You're holding me. My eyes well because this is such a small achievement and I shouldn't be in this type of relationship. But I'm fallen so deeply for you and really I'll take anything you'll give me.

But your hand is trailing down my stomach.


	3. Chapter 3

"Berry!" You're really screaming and I spin on my heel, but then you shove me and I fall barreling into the wall. I love how you'll let them see this, but you're scared to peck my lips with tenderness I've never gotten to experience.

I've been defiant lately, and you don't approve. The red anger in your eyes is enough to guess that. Your tan hand reaches out and closes around my collar as you pull me back from the wall to you. "Janitors closet, after school. Don't. Be. Late." You spit in my face before shoving me back again. It would really hurt if I didn't get to watch your ass as you leave.

I'm such a masochist. I like this, I like this pain that you give me.

Or maybe I just love you enough to put up with this.

I'm there exactly at 315. On the dot. And you're late.

You come crashing in at 3:19 and you look much clumsier than usual, but just as angry. My hips are pushed punishingly against the wall before I can even think a sentence and your lips are pressed to mine... Well. That's certainly new. But then your hips are pressed to mine and I can't think. You wore a toy to school.

You grind hard against me, the bulge hitting against my center and "Oh god."

You smirk and push me before stripping me down to nakedness before pulling down your skirt just enough for the large toy to jut out. This is going to hurt.

You leave me naked in the closet, slipping down the wall onto the dirty floor as my knees shake. My fingers claw weakly to keep me up as I hear you laugh menacingly to yourself as the door slams shut.

The part of my brain that's still functional clicks.

I'm your possession.

Oh god I just want to run after you but my legs feel broken, I'm a quivering panting mess, all because of you!

I'm getting my revenge.


	4. Chapter 4

I know you're watching. Watching as I'm tucked under his arm, his big, bulging, masculine arm, warm and possesive around me.

I hope you feel that. That pain in your heart, that burning, that need, what I've felt every night.

When Sam pulls me closer and kisses my head, I sign softly. I love you, but maybe I can grow away from that. Make myself healthier. Make love healthy again.

I called him when I was crying and he came. He came and held me, and watched Funny Girl with me, and wiped my tears.

Are you jealous Santana?

Do you want me now that you can't have me?

I hope you feel as dreadful, and terrible as I feel when you leave me broken and breathless.

If you want me,

Get better. Fight for me. And accept yourself so you can love me. But you know, regardless... I'm helplessly "yours" no matter how you've ruined the phrase in your hurried, meaningless lust.


	5. Chapter 5

"You're mine!" You scream in my face, the ties baring into my skin tighter as I cower in fear. You grabbed me in the locker room, shoved something in my mouth and I fell. And when I woke up I was here, in my room, restrained to the bed and faced with you tearing my things apart. Am I yours? I'm so terribly confused and I hurt and why can't you just love me? I've tried everything and you just forget. But I suppose there's nothing much to forget. We've never made love. We've had sex. You've yelled at me, you've told me you loved me only when you were tearing me apart. Your goal was to break me and you succeeded because I'll never fight back. All I can do is look up to you, fell the unforgiving cold on my naked body and the fabric digging into my wrists. The fuzzy feeling in my hands because there's no blood going to them because of the position.

And last the plug or vibrator or whatever the hell it is filling me up, stretching my insides as your hateful expression stretches my chest to the point of tearing. It doesn't even feel good anymore. It's just a dull feeling, a layer of plaster or material to feel a void that I have. I wonder if you touched me while I was unconscious. I've missed your touch... So much. After all I do love you, even if we aren't lovers, and I am simply your toy, your pet.

"Mine!" Your breathing is jagged and broken as you scream, like an animal. "Why can't you fucking understand that?" You grab my ankles as pull me so I'm looking at the ceiling. You crawl up and look me in the eye, just barely. "You're m-mine..." Your voice breaks and you look away.

You're shaking. You're breaking, I know you are. "Who says?" I want to say. "Is it just sex that makes me yours? Or is there something deeper?" but I remain silent.

You get up and start walking around the room, grabbing my purse and rifling through it. You get what you want and throw my favorite purse against the wall.

I feel your fingers dig into my skin as you move back up and sit on my stomach. I hear the click as you unlock my phone, of course you know the code. How many times have you broke into it and looked up ways to torture me while I was passed out Santana?

And the phone's ringing. You move it and press it to my ear. "Tell him." You growl. "Tell him that you're someone else's pathetic fuck toy." But the insult has no sting because there's tears falling down your cheeks.

Sam's voice has a smile as he picks up. "Hi Rae!"

I swallow. I knew this would happen, and I knew I wouldn't fight because I'll never be able to live without you. Even if the only thing I had from you was abuse. "S-Sam..." My voice shakes and you press the phone tighter to my ear.

"Babe? Are you okay?" I see the hurt on your face even as you look away, but you have no right to feel hurt when you're the one who drugged me. Literally and metaphorically.

"I can't do this anymore S-Sam."

"Wait us?"

"Yes..."

"No! Rae baby please? What did I do?"

"I-it's not you." I say quietly. "I have too much baggage... I'm in love with someone else."

"Oh..." He sounds crushed. I feel crushed too, but making that's because you're feet are digging into my sides.

"I'm so sorry S-" But you've taken the phone away and hang up, tossing it into a basket or probably the floor, what do you care if my phone breaks into pieces? You've already done that to my heart. Then you move down, your face an inch to mine.

"Never try something like that again Rachel." You hiss venomously. "You know you're mine and that's all you'll ever be." 


	6. Chapter 6

1... 2... 3...

"Open your eyes my darling. Have you been dreaming all this time? It's our wedding night my dear. "

No I'm the one dreaming... Right? I mean how could this be? Has time passed already? Have all those bruises faded? Is it your lips worshipping my cheek as you try to wake me.

What has happened?

"S-Santana?" I quiver.

Your hand touches my cheek... And stays. So tenderly. "Baby it's me." My eyes widen. I swallow. I look down at myself. I'm completely clothed... In a simple, white dress, and my left ring finger sparkles. Baby? Who's baby am I?

My eyes look up to yours and you look so concerned. So, loving. Who are you?

"Rae, what's wrong?" You coo and my eyes clench shut. You never speak like that unless I'm being punished.

I hear a rush before I feel myself being pulled into your arms, your lap, and nuzzled and held and loved.

I don't hear you as you speak, but the feeling... I feel you holding me..

And I remember. I remember it's all over. I remember you're mine. I remember that I didn't let you win, I fought and made you realize you loved me, and I didn't deserve to be abused. And I took you to therapy, and I saved you from them. And I held you. I remember that night.

/"Rachel let me go." You're squirming and almost sobbing, but I'm strong. No matter what you think I'm strong. And no matter what you think.B

"Calm." I say. "Just calm down and breathe!"

You look up at me with broken eyes, and only a touch of anger. Then you pitch up and snap your teeth, like some animal.

But you're weak. And I lean down and I lean down and whisper in your ear that you're safe. You laugh, but it's not mocking, it's scared and desperate. Then I tell you that I love you and you stop squirming. And I hold you until you fall into slumber/

And we made love, for the first time on my 25th birthday.

"W-what day is it?" I ask softly, curling into you. Into my baby, my love... My wife?

You brush my hair away, I'll never get used to that. "Saturday baby."

I shake my head, resting my head on your shoulder. "No what year?" My voice is quiet.

You kiss my forehead. And the feeling takes my breath away. "2021." You say just as softly as me.

I'm 26. I'm in love. I'm saved. I'm not broken anymore. At least I don't feel like I am. I'm married to Santana Lopez.

Just one more thing.

"Do you love me?"

"I love you more than the raven loves his treasure."

Pause.

"Do you love me?" I ask again, and I feel you exhale against my hair.

"I love you more than the stars need the darkness to be seen."

Another pause. "Santana?"

"Hmm?"

I lick my lips. "Do you love me?"

You pull back and I grip onto your shirt, but your warm hands are suddenly on my cheeks, cupping them and holding them. "Rachel Barbra Berry-Lopez, I love you until the end of time."

I smile. I smile with joy and happiness, and I feel... Complete. And then I whisper it back and tackle you onto our bed, and know, that there will be no tears tonight.


End file.
